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Post by Boilermaker on Aug 25, 2014 14:30:49 GMT -5
NOTE: I do not intend for this to be a political rant or a discussion on politics; I'm simply asking for advice/thoughts on an uncomfortable situation.
I was at a niece's birthday party (wife's sister's daughter) yesterday and ran into an uncomfortable situation regarding politics. My wife and I were married this past October so I hadn't met all of the extended family yet. As the men were doing their thing outside watching baseball and grilling, one of the guys who I had just met immediately starting talking politics. To my surprise, he and my father-in law start discussing the state's education system and how they think it was completely ruined by our last governor. Then, it pretty much turned into an all out bashing on my political party. Now, my father in law and I differ on politics, but we've never let it be a discussion topic, or even hinted at the idea of discussing it; I just don't care to start an argument over someone else's point of view.
Needless to say, I became uncomfortable and instead of embarrassing the obnoxious individual whom I'd just met (and also my in-laws and wife) I decided to just bite my tongue and let the discussion fizzle and eventually turn to the Cubs baseball game. The few people I knew well there (including my F-I-L) obviously know I have very differing opinions on all they had discussed so they had to have sensed my uneasiness. Thank goodness the topic didn't turn to gun control...
So, here's my question. What would you do in this situation? Since I wasn't part of the discussion should I still have politely voiced my opinion? I chose to ignore the entire situation...which is typically uncharacteristic of me.
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Post by lawrencecountyhunter on Aug 25, 2014 14:43:52 GMT -5
There are a few in both my own family and in-laws that hold drastically different political beliefs than I do; even 1 anti-hunter. I've found, though, that just because you disagree with someone politically doesn't mean you can't still have civil discussions. I won't hesitate to respectfully discuss political issues with those I disagree with, but I refuse to argue with a fool.
Those that resort to yelling, insults, etc. to try and win a political debate are nothing but bullies who must resort to such only because the substance of their argument is weak. If there are people like that in your extended family, better to know now so that you can avoid starting an argument with those fools in the future. You can't convince those kinds of people they are wrong anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2014 15:07:59 GMT -5
Since our former and current governors' education agenda ruined the Republican Party for me, you probably don't want to hear from me on this...
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Post by jjas on Aug 25, 2014 15:27:39 GMT -5
I've learned that when it comes to politics and religion (if you want to keep the peace) sometimes it's best to bite your tongue. You aren't going to change their mind and they aren't going to change yours, so why ruin a perfectly good outing?
In situations like that, I usually either walk away and talk to someone else or try to change the subject.
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Post by swilk on Aug 25, 2014 17:07:32 GMT -5
I find political conversations with thinking men to be very enjoyable..... I love it.
Take out the thinking part though and I'll just keep my opinion to myself.
So....what would I have done? Depends on if I thought those involved were capable of an intelligent conversation or no.
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Post by greyhair on Aug 25, 2014 20:37:37 GMT -5
Amen Met - but somebody is making a lot of money.
I have a close brother who is polar opposite of my views. We are close enough that we can argue like hell and still get along. He says everything is Obama's fault, I say it is Bush's fault, and then we get another brew. Then he starts in on Clinton, and I start in on Reagan. Then we get another brew.Working backwards like that, one time we got all the way to the depression before we had to quit.
I bought a pair of Glock 19's with consecutive numbers and gave him one. Then he bought a pair of Taurus stainless 1911's with consecutive numbers and gave me one. They go to the oldest boys - if we ever argue all the way back to the eary 1800's we might have to have a duel!
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Post by greyhair on Aug 25, 2014 20:38:24 GMT -5
Amen Met - but somebody is making a lot of money.
I have a close brother who is polar opposite of my views. We are close enough that we can argue like hell and still get along. He says everything is Obama's fault, I say it is Bush's fault, and then we get another brew. Then he starts in on Clinton, and I start in on Reagan. Then we get another brew.Working backwards like that, one time we got all the way to the depression before we had to quit.
I bought a pair of Glock 19's with consecutive numbers and gave him one. Then he bought a pair of Taurus stainless 1911's with consecutive numbers and gave me one. They go to the oldest boys - if we ever argue all the way back to the eary 1800's we might have to have a duel!
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Post by greyhair on Aug 25, 2014 20:41:03 GMT -5
Amen Met - but somebody is making a lot of money.
I have a close brother who is polar opposite of my views. We are close enough that we can argue like hell and still get along. He says everything is Obama's fault, I say it is Bush's fault, and then we get another brew. Then he starts in on Clinton, and I start in on Reagan. Then we get another brew.Working backwards like that, one time we got all the way to the depression before we had to quit.
I bought a pair of Glock 19's with consecutive numbers and gave him one. Then he bought a pair of Taurus stainless 1911's with consecutive numbers and gave me one. They go to the oldest boys - if we ever argue all the way back to the eary 1800's we might have to have a duel!
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Post by firstwd on Aug 25, 2014 20:41:56 GMT -5
You did well grasshopper.
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Post by greyhair on Aug 25, 2014 20:45:45 GMT -5
I have no idea why I get multiple posts - it acts like the post doesn't take - then I try again and it still doesn't take - then later they all pop up. And no I haven't had any beer today!
Maybe I am doing something wrong
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Post by swilk on Aug 25, 2014 20:51:37 GMT -5
I have no idea why I get multiple posts - it acts like the post doesn't take - then I try again and it still doesn't take - then later they all pop up. And no I haven't had any beer today! Maybe I am doing something wrong Its Obamas fault.....  |
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Post by greyhair on Aug 25, 2014 21:25:07 GMT -5
My brother would agree - but I say it was Bush!
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Post by windingwinds on Aug 26, 2014 0:44:14 GMT -5
Overall, unless you have a good relationship, I'd say leave politics out of family gatherings. I have a very liberal cousin that at times it's almost impossible to keep my mouth shut. But I do, and I know her Facebook posts at times are purposely set up to argue with any conservative (in my case Independent or Libertarian) person that is foolish enough counter them. Arguing politics rarely changes anyone's mind.
But I do have coworkers of every party that don't take it so seriously (personally) and a good debate over political issues isn't unusual.
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Post by DEERTRACKS on Aug 26, 2014 5:00:50 GMT -5
I let these discussions run their uninterrupted course, unless I am asked. If so! Then they get my non-filtered opinion on any subject at hand.
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Post by dbd870 on Aug 26, 2014 6:59:09 GMT -5
I usually can't let it go; but I'm to the point I feel most politicians are pretty worthless.
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Post by steve46511 on Aug 26, 2014 7:31:53 GMT -5
NOTE: I do not intend for this to be a political rant or a discussion on politics; I'm simply asking for advice/thoughts on an uncomfortable situation. I was at a niece's birthday party (wife's sister's daughter) yesterday and ran into an uncomfortable situation regarding politics. My wife and I were married this past October so I hadn't met all of the extended family yet. As the men were doing their thing outside watching baseball and grilling, one of the guys who I had just met immediately starting talking politics. To my surprise, he and my father-in law start discussing the state's education system and how they think it was completely ruined by our last governor. Then, it pretty much turned into an all out bashing on my political party. Now, my father in law and I differ on politics, but we've never let it be a discussion topic, or even hinted at the idea of discussing it; I just don't care to start an argument over someone else's point of view.
Needless to say, I became uncomfortable and instead of embarrassing the obnoxious individual whom I'd just met (and also my in-laws and wife) I decided to just bite my tongue and let the discussion fizzle and eventually turn to the Cubs baseball game. The few people I knew well there (including my F-I-L) obviously know I have very differing opinions on all they had discussed so they had to have sensed my uneasiness. Thank goodness the topic didn't turn to gun control... So, here's my question. What would you do in this situation? Since I wasn't part of the discussion should I still have politely voiced my opinion? I chose to ignore the entire situation...which is typically uncharacteristic of me. IMHO, you gave the best "answer" within your question (which I marked above) and making sure the other person is aware that you feel this way is my only suggestion. Not long ago someone stated that arguing with me is a waste of time and energy. "Steve is too opinionated". I politely asked him exactly what "opinionated" meant......to him. He said that no matter how many times the subject is discussed or what facts are brought up.....that I wouldn't change what I felt was accurate and "admit I was wrong". I asked him to voice any situation where anyone discussing politics actually did admit they were "wrong" and changed their opinion on the politician or political subject........including himself. Not only could he not think of a single situation where such actually occurred but added "No, I HAVEN'T.....I AM NOT WRONG". Yet......I AM the only opinionated person in the discussion?  In the PAST I had no issues with bringing forth information that seemed to be missing from such discussions in an effort to enlighten all equally to the subject at hand but my observations match the person above and I also have never seen anyone change their opinion based on someone else's opinion within a discussion. That being said, I may respond to direct questions on what I find plausible within the world of politics and why I feel that way, but that is where the conversation ends, for me. Invariably the other person WANTS to argue and the sooner it has been made clear that I will not do so, the better the chances are that person and I can carry on a decent conversation. "I just don't care to start an argument over someone else's point of view." Is not only the best option for family, it applies to all I know, for me. For the record, YES I am opinionated.........and, here, my opinion is that I refuse to argue OVER opinions because it is one of the most fruitless conversations I can think of and I have and will walk away. Other than those that LIKE to argue, being around others that also do so insistently is not an enjoyable thing and when continually repeated people will start to avoid ALL contact with that person. Such is not a good scenario for family members, extended or not......again, IMHO. God Bless |
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Post by Boilermaker on Aug 26, 2014 7:51:38 GMT -5
Thanks for the replies guys and gals. I didn't know the guy well enough to figure out if he had any sense about him or if he was just an uninformed loose canon. Either way, I sometimes enjoy discussing politics with close friends and family so long as no one gets overly emotional.
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Post by greyhair on Aug 26, 2014 14:31:25 GMT -5
Well if me and my brother ever get to the duel, we will be sure to video it! Me, I'm using the Glock
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Post by saltydog on Aug 26, 2014 21:30:27 GMT -5
Well the first question I ask if one is a registered voter, the next question is do they vote in every election. Usually gets quiet after that !!!!!!!
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Post by firstwd on Aug 28, 2014 19:26:29 GMT -5
I'm kinda of an a$$ sometimes. So, when the need to make someone see how ill informed they are hits, I usually excitedly voice real world scenarios of their favorite politician and get them to tell me how stupid they sound.
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