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Post by Jamie Brooks 1John5:13 on Mar 26, 2015 13:15:23 GMT -5
It's refreshing to me that as depressed as I was about not working, I am now embracing it. I actually wished that I had died when I had my heart attack when I was told to stop working. I did not want to accept it. It's funny to me how we can be in denial. We just don't want to admit that we can't do something.
When I told my neighbors, they said, "Oh, you're going to have a tough time with that."
Now, I feel like I'm really alive for the first time in years. Nope, I can't do much of anything for any length of time, but I can to many things for a very short period, and this is what I do.
On Monday, I took my trimming shears and cut the low branches from my crab-apple tree. I cut for about 10 minutes and then I'd rest for about 30. I did this 3 times, and was wiped out for the rest of the day and slept 12 hours that night. This is fine with me. At least I can still feel productive in my own little world. The branches are still on the ground. LOL I figure I'll wait for better weather to pick them up.
I bought 250 12' fiber cement boards for the exterior of my house. I actually have myself convinced that I'll be able to do 3 sides of my house by myself. I'm sure that I'm over-estimating my abilities, but I have a plan. I think if I can put up 2 or 3 boards a day that I'll be finished by the fall hunting season.
My wife is confident that I'll be hiring someone much sooner than I think, and she's probably right, but I won't tell her this. So what if it takes me 6 months to do it. I really don't care if after putting up the first board that I give up and call someone. I just feel like I have to make an effort.
Sure, I'll die sooner, but at least I'll feel like I'm alive while I am. For me to die doing something productive is honorable. To sit on the couch until I die is a depressing thought.
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Post by 36fan on Mar 26, 2015 20:01:10 GMT -5
The only reason I work, is so I can afford to do what I want on my own time...but I have a wife and kids, so I'm just trying to keep up with the bills. So much for that theory...
When it comes time to stop having to go the salt mine every day, I don't think I'll have a problem of walking away...and I actually enjoy my job. Maybe then I'll start having time for all the things I want to do.
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Post by Jamie Brooks 1John5:13 on Mar 26, 2015 20:06:36 GMT -5
The only reason I work, is so I can afford to do what I want on my own time...but I have a wife and kids, so I'm just trying to keep up with the bills. So much for that theory... When it comes time to stop having to go the salt mine every day, I don't think I'll have a problem of walking away...and I actually enjoy my job. Maybe then I'll start having time for all the wings I want to do. Well hello fan #36. Oh I'm sure that I use to think that way too. I remember dreaming about retirement when I was in my 20s. LOL I think it just kind of blind sided me even though I knew I was getting worse. |
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Post by 36fan on Mar 26, 2015 20:12:38 GMT -5
The only reason I work, is so I can afford to do what I want on my own time...but I have a wife and kids, so I'm just trying to keep up with the bills. So much for that theory... When it comes time to stop having to go the salt mine every day, I don't think I'll have a problem of walking away...and I actually enjoy my job. Maybe then I'll start having time for all the wings I want to do. Well hello fan #36. Oh I'm sure that I use to think that way too. I remember dreaming about retirement when I was in my 20s. LOL I think it just kind of blind sided me even though I knew I was getting worse. and I'm sure the health issues that are preventing you from being able to do what you want isn't helping either. |
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Post by Jamie Brooks 1John5:13 on Mar 26, 2015 20:35:34 GMT -5
I have accepted my limitations ...I think, but I'm usually always in denial.
What really helps me is that I can do things even though for a very short time. What would really bother me is if I just couldn't get off the couch or someone had to wipe my butt.
I'm enjoying piddling, and that's really all one can call it. It's taken me a week to paint half my office. LOL NO ONE can make a living at my pace of doing anything, but I thank God for letting me do what I can do.
I'm just so blessed to have worked for the same company for 33 years. I have great insurance, and they'll pay me 100% for 3 months, 12 months at 65% and then I'll get a raise to 70% up to and possibly beyond 3 years.
They can't force me to retire. Sure, I'll eventually get around to applying for disability, but everyone knows that this could take a while. My doctor also told me to play the lotto as I might win it before getting approved for disability. I don't play the lotto.
One thing for sure, I will die a blessed happy man.
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Post by single_shooter on Mar 27, 2015 9:24:58 GMT -5
Listen to the doctors. After my little issues over the years I have learned to slow down when it's needed. Even when I thought I could do more.
My last little incident was in September 2011....and I am still doing physical therapy twice a week because of that. Looks like I will be in therapy for at least another year. Now to lose that pesky 70 pounds I put on while laid up and being completely sedentary for about 20 months...that's going to be the tough part.
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Post by parson on Mar 27, 2015 10:12:28 GMT -5
Hard lesson, but we learn that we can still go pretty far if we just go slower! That 20 year old inside me keeps trying to get out! Gotta keep him throttled.
Praying for ya Jon.
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Post by Jamie Brooks 1John5:13 on Mar 27, 2015 15:11:34 GMT -5
Hard lesson, but we learn that we can still go pretty far if we just go slower! That 20 year old inside me keeps trying to get out! Gotta keep him throttled. Praying for ya Jon. Thank you parson! Prayer is the greatest thing one can do for another. I'm learning, but the fear had to be put in me a few times. About 4 times, I've dropped to the floor and had to stay there for a while to get my breath. I was breathing, but it didn't seem to do any good. Twice I was in the woods. I'm much more careful now; I don't want to do that again. You're right, slower can be better, especially for old guys. LOL As one fella told me, it's better to be slow than on the other side of the grass. |
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Post by Jamie Brooks 1John5:13 on Mar 27, 2015 15:15:35 GMT -5
Listen to the doctors. After my little issues over the years I have learned to slow down when it's needed. Even when I thought I could do more. My last little incident was in September 2011....and I am still doing physical therapy twice a week because of that. Looks like I will be in therapy for at least another year. Now to lose that pesky 70 pounds I put on while laid up and being completely sedentary for about 20 months...that's going to be the tough part. single shooter, you might be in worse shape than me. Yes, I could lose some weight. They tell me I'm obese, but I'm just chunky and maybe a little fluffy. Where that doctor came from half the country is starving. I didn't go back to see him. |
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Post by squirrelhunter on Mar 27, 2015 17:50:55 GMT -5
I went through the same thing when I became disabled. I didn't want to quit working and I worked with it gradually getting worse until it got to the point me and the factory both decided it was time for me to resign. It took quite awhile for me to actually start enjoying being off work. I still occasionally wish I was working again and could do the things I use to be able to do,but for the most part I have adjusted and enjoy doing what I can around the house and it actually makes me feel prouder now when I get something done than when I was still healthy. Plus no bosses telling me to pick it up  . |
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Post by Sasquatch on Mar 27, 2015 18:25:20 GMT -5
Doing a little at a time can work wonders! It's good of you not to give in to despair. Working around in "your own little world" will make you feel better than just sitting around---as long as you're careful.
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Post by Jamie Brooks 1John5:13 on Mar 27, 2015 19:30:23 GMT -5
I went through the same thing when I became disabled. I didn't want to quit working and I worked with it gradually getting worse until it got to the point me and the factory both decided it was time for me to resign. It took quite awhile for me to actually start enjoying being off work. I still occasionally wish I was working again and could do the things I use to be able to do,but for the most part I have adjusted and enjoy doing what I can around the house and it actually makes me feel prouder now when I get something done than when I was still healthy. Plus no bosses telling me to pick it up . I didn't know you were disabled; I bet there are a few on here. Yes squirrelhunter, I do feel good when I get something done here that I've ignored for years. It's been two weeks for me now, and I feel like I'm in a routine. If not for my long list of to dos, I might get bored, but I'd just write a book or something. It's strange how I won't feel bored, but I miss interaction, and being on HI really helps with this. I think if not for HI, I'd be at the local McDonalds with the really old guys. I feel better, but how could I not; I sleep and rest all I want anytime I want. |
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Post by Jamie Brooks 1John5:13 on Mar 28, 2015 13:48:24 GMT -5
I do want to thank you fellas for helping me. Confirmation does help. It's embarrassing to do no more than what I can do. I'm just a fraction of a man.
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Post by squirrelhunter on Mar 29, 2015 11:17:02 GMT -5
I went through the same thing when I became disabled. I didn't want to quit working and I worked with it gradually getting worse until it got to the point me and the factory both decided it was time for me to resign. It took quite awhile for me to actually start enjoying being off work. I still occasionally wish I was working again and could do the things I use to be able to do,but for the most part I have adjusted and enjoy doing what I can around the house and it actually makes me feel prouder now when I get something done than when I was still healthy. Plus no bosses telling me to pick it up . I didn't know you were disabled; I bet there are a few on here. Yes squirrelhunter, I do feel good when I get something done here that I've ignored for years. It's been two weeks for me now, and I feel like I'm in a routine. If not for my long list of to dos, I might get bored, but I'd just write a book or something. It's strange how I won't feel bored, but I miss interaction, and being on HI really helps with this. I think if not for HI, I'd be at the local McDonalds with the really old guys. I feel better, but how could I not; I sleep and rest all I want anytime I want. Yeah I was asked to resign back on 6/29/06. Almost 9 years now. Wife left me 2 months later,had no income,wound up getting divorced and told I had to sell the house which I was still living in. Hard couple years there,but then I met Norreen and things picked up for awhile until she passed,now it's just like all the days are the same and have to try to do something to keep from going nuts. A little here and there helps. I just wished I could do what I use to do and could still hunt like I use to,but that's life,have to take it as it is and make the best of it. |
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Post by single_shooter on Mar 29, 2015 22:39:16 GMT -5
I look at my uncle as an inspiration. He was told decades ago to get his affairs in order because the cancer would come back and he only had a few months to a couple years left. That was in late 70's and he's still fishing at his river cottage every summer.
I was told the same thing...that 33 was about the best I could hope for. I'm 48 now. Had 3 aggressive tumors removed in 6 years and doing great. Clean for over 9 years now. Only got half a stomach and lost part of the esophagus and the right side of my chest but I'm still breathing. That is my accomplishment...I woke up again today.
In 2011, as some of you may recall, I was shot at a gas station shortly after moving to St. Louis. I have the security video showing me being ambushed and my mother recorded the evening news a couple days later where they said I was in critical condition and not expected to make it.
Over 3 years later and I am still in physical therapy trying to get back to some degree of physical capability. I went from strong as a horse...to being winded just trying to tie my work boots in the morning. In the last 3 years I went from unemployed and broke to owning 2 small businesses that make more than I ever did before and trying to get 2 more businesses off the ground now. I refuse to let anything beat me at my own life. I may have to stop to rest longer and more often...I may need more help from others...but I am still kicking...just not as high or as hard as I used to...lol
Stay busy...or you will surely die sooner....that's my belief. So do what you can and keep moving forward. And most of all....just feel good that you woke up today and be happy for that. You get to live another day on this earth and experience what life has to offer. Some were not so fortunate as we are.
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Post by beehunter on Mar 30, 2015 6:38:00 GMT -5
Single_shooter I am 47 and have had cancer twice in the last two years and worry about the future alot, your post gives me some hope. Thanks
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Post by single_shooter on Mar 30, 2015 7:15:40 GMT -5
During my early battles with the disease I had to do testing and due to the aggressive nature of the tumor they wanted to do testing immediately. The only place I could get in that day was in Indy at the Children's hospital. I was there an hour for my testing, but ended up staying the entire day to be with the kids I met.
If anyone ever feels depressed about their situation...feels alone or like the world is against them. I tell them to just think back to how happy and free their childhood seemed...then go wander the halls in that hospital for a day. It is a very sobering moment for anyone. The true heart and spirit those children exhibit every day would put most adults to shame.
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Post by Woody Williams on Mar 30, 2015 9:03:59 GMT -5
You guys are inspirations to us all..
No matter how bad we think we have there is always someone way worse off. We should all count each day as a blessing from God as the days are numbered for all of us..
Take care and God bless..
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Post by squirrelhunter on Mar 30, 2015 9:59:28 GMT -5
So true Woody.
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Post by single_shooter on Apr 8, 2015 7:56:01 GMT -5
Well Woody...according to the doctors I have now avoided my expiration date twice!! When I go back to Indiana I have still met people who thought I was dead. Not sure if they are pleased to discover otherwise...but they are surprised...lol
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