Post by oldhoyt on Nov 17, 2023 13:48:06 GMT -5
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.
Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means… it’s dirty.
I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. Who is the real hero?
On a traffic light green means ‘go’ and yellow means ‘yield’, but on a
, it’s just the opposite. Green means ‘hold on,’ yellow means ‘go ahead,’ and red means, ‘where the hell did you get that at?
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.
Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means… it’s dirty.
I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.
You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. Who is the real hero?
On a traffic light green means ‘go’ and yellow means ‘yield’, but on a
, it’s just the opposite. Green means ‘hold on,’ yellow means ‘go ahead,’ and red means, ‘where the hell did you get that at?